Ride of Your Life

Do you ever realize you are currently on an emotional roller-coaster but you can’t remember when and where you bought the ride token?  When you look around your seat all you see is chaos and negativity but last time you checked everything was going fine.  Were you deceiving yourself?

After my mom passed away in September 2010, my whole life changed.  I went from being semi-positive person to trying my best to “not sweat the small stuff” kind of person.  My mother drilled that into our heads as children when her life took a dramatic turn after a MS diagnosis. She never once asked God why He chose her to carry this burden but instead she decided that she would live with a “peace that passes all understanding”.  (If you know me that’s where the “peace” and date came from on my lower tattoo sleeve)

Now with that being said you can see how such a person would change the lives of others.  Everyone remembers her as the positive role model she was.  She changed so many lives and when I sat by her side as she passed away at the very young age of 52, she changed mine as well.  Suddenly all that was wrong in my life, my marriage, my parenting skills, and even some of my thoughts had disappeared.  It was no longer worth dwelling on the negative and I started to search out the positive.

“Rachel you are too stressed out to be so young baby.  Don’t sweat the small stuff, and guess what babygirl………it’s ALL small stuff!”  - My mother’s words ring in my ears daily – “It will work out, just be patient and know.”

Last night as I tossed and turned for the sixth night in a row, I realized that I have been on this negative spiral and I have allowed someone else put me there.  All I see is mess in my home, children disobeying, and the possible money troubles that may be fast approaching through the furlough period.  IT STOPS NOW!!!  No longer will I allow someone else to steal my joy!  No longer will I focus on what others may think of our life/parenting skills.  No longer will my choices, style of living, or business decision be of anyone else’s concern outside of my home. 

I love the life that my husband and I have built together.  It was a VERY rough path to get here, one that if it weren’t for my mother holding my hand I may not have made, but at this point in the road I am glad we are here.  I am PROUD of my children and the men they are becoming.  I am PROUD of their accomplishments no matter how small they may seem to others. And I am PROUD to say I am their mother, step-mother, teacher, example, and overall life coach.

TODAY it changes!!  I am getting off this stupid roller-coaster!  Why??............Why not?

Life is too short to do anything but enjoy it!

Where have you been?

Ok so I started this whole blog thing as a way to “journal” my life in order to help others that may be faced with similar issues.  However, after starting this it seemed to just fall to the waist side (like many other things lately), but I am trying hard to recommit to.  A wonderful friend of mine, yes Stacey that would be you, fusses at me EVERY time I chat with her that I haven’t blogged lol.

Here we go,

Our first official year of homeschooling is OVER!!  It is bittersweet.  We had a blast doing arts and crafts (note to self, 13 year olds do not appreciate that as much as 6 and 4 year olds do), we planned school around family time together, and even made it on a few “field trips”.

What was our outcome?  I’m so glad you asked! Ha - We found out that we have AMAZINGLY smart children that just weren’t given their moment to shine in the public school system.  Malachi zoomed through the kindergarten curriculum in no time flat and is very ready to start 1^st grade.  Jeremy caught up on the 7^th grade things he missed in the public school and flew pretty well through 8^th grade.

We learned that a more advanced curriculum is needed for next year, one with a little more in-depth thinking.  I learned not to let planning over whelm me and to do it ahead of time.  Grades really don’t matter that much, and work doesn’t always have to be perfect.  Sometimes it is totally ok to put down the books and get to the root of the child’s problem because it may not really be that math problem that is the issue.

Above all else, we learned that we can TOTALLY educate our children!  We can raise them to highly functioning members of society and we can do it well!  In just our first year we have managed to tame the disrespectful little punks, and start turning them into gentlemen.  Ok well maybe not totally gentlemen yet, but they are well on their way.  It is amazing what you can do with you remove the negative influences.

Micah has flourished from a non-vocal 3 year old to a never quite jabbering 4 year old.  He can now hold a small conversation with you and is even beginning to follow directions.  He may still be severely delayed but man has he made progress.

Above all else, we are a happy family!  I no longer allow nah-sayers in our life to be vocal.  I can’t stop you from thinking I can’t do it, but you are not allowed to vocalize it to me and expect to continue our conversation.  This is our life and our journey, and we are PROUD of it.

So why did I fall of the blog planet……..why not? – I had a family to encourage.