Ride of Your Life

Do you ever realize you are currently on an emotional roller-coaster but you can’t remember when and where you bought the ride token?  When you look around your seat all you see is chaos and negativity but last time you checked everything was going fine.  Were you deceiving yourself?

After my mom passed away in September 2010, my whole life changed.  I went from being semi-positive person to trying my best to “not sweat the small stuff” kind of person.  My mother drilled that into our heads as children when her life took a dramatic turn after a MS diagnosis. She never once asked God why He chose her to carry this burden but instead she decided that she would live with a “peace that passes all understanding”.  (If you know me that’s where the “peace” and date came from on my lower tattoo sleeve)

Now with that being said you can see how such a person would change the lives of others.  Everyone remembers her as the positive role model she was.  She changed so many lives and when I sat by her side as she passed away at the very young age of 52, she changed mine as well.  Suddenly all that was wrong in my life, my marriage, my parenting skills, and even some of my thoughts had disappeared.  It was no longer worth dwelling on the negative and I started to search out the positive.

“Rachel you are too stressed out to be so young baby.  Don’t sweat the small stuff, and guess what babygirl………it’s ALL small stuff!”  - My mother’s words ring in my ears daily – “It will work out, just be patient and know.”

Last night as I tossed and turned for the sixth night in a row, I realized that I have been on this negative spiral and I have allowed someone else put me there.  All I see is mess in my home, children disobeying, and the possible money troubles that may be fast approaching through the furlough period.  IT STOPS NOW!!!  No longer will I allow someone else to steal my joy!  No longer will I focus on what others may think of our life/parenting skills.  No longer will my choices, style of living, or business decision be of anyone else’s concern outside of my home. 

I love the life that my husband and I have built together.  It was a VERY rough path to get here, one that if it weren’t for my mother holding my hand I may not have made, but at this point in the road I am glad we are here.  I am PROUD of my children and the men they are becoming.  I am PROUD of their accomplishments no matter how small they may seem to others. And I am PROUD to say I am their mother, step-mother, teacher, example, and overall life coach.

TODAY it changes!!  I am getting off this stupid roller-coaster!  Why??............Why not?

Life is too short to do anything but enjoy it!